I started coming to Flood midway through my freshman year at San Diego State and haven’t stopped.
Each year I would hear Pastor Matt make the announcement for the Undergraduate Internship and each year I would feel a little push towards applying.
For two years I logged onto the website and looked at the application.
Both times I got discouraged and felt unqualified.
I felt unqualified and discouraged because I was walking alone and didn’t let my community walk with me. God puts people in our lives for a reason, I believe that He will use them to speak to us when we let Him.
The internship was difficult. Not because it took too much time or because the tasks were too demanding.
It was challenging because through the internship, God picked me up from my place of comfort and moved me to place where I was stretched and uncomfortable.
He put people in my life that asked me hard questions, that prayed with me and for me.
What I learned was that growth requires vulnerability, which can be painful and scary. But I also learned that being vulnerable and letting God work in trusted relationships is one of the most life giving and beautiful gifts.
At the start of the internship I thought that in order to make others happy, I had to do what others wanted. I failed to see what God was calling me to do because I was looking so hard to please the voices of others.
Throughout the internship I have embraced the realization that I have been called by the Creator, and in learning to value his voice in my life, I have learned to value mine.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do after the internship, but I am carrying the gift of learning to hear his voice and I know that God will take this uncertain path and make something beautiful with it.
About the Author:
Ali Feldman is a senior at SDSU and serves as a Flood Kids and Flood Groups Intern. Ali is also a part of Flood College, is in love with country music and line dancing, and has successfully learned to use chopsticks during her internship.